My Own Personal Sherpa

I get up each morning, and I begin the "typical" process to get ready for work.  One thing differ's from others, I am my own personal Sherpa.  Right before I head out the door, I gather my "gear" and "stuff" for the day.  I grab my laptop, my camera bag and then my purse.  Out the door to head to work, and then in the afternoon I am off searching for that temptress I call a wireless signal.  Once she lures me in, I sit and get my blog updated, and do various things for the photo club.
I visit my poor excuse for a website...and usually end up in frustration as I don't have the knowledge to build even a simple page.  I was going to get set up with wordpress, then I encountered a problem with godaddy I still haven't been able to fix.  I think of ways to market my business, but between being frozen in fear to move forward, I also have much doubt in my skill level.  I am hoping once I obtain an external flash, learn how to use it correctly, maybe, just maybe...I will be brave enough to tip that toe into the potential pond which will take me to the boat of success.
My gear sits in my vehicle, on hot days I lug it into work, so it doesn't get to much exposure to heat.  I think my biggest obstacle (besides fear) is the website.  Which isn't that difficult to remedy....I just don't have the knowledge.  I get onto godaddy's website and there are all these links and buttons and information of which I don't understand.  I try to read and navigate to find myself getting further confused by it all.  I try to understand it, and return continuously to find my way to comprehension of it all.  Unfortunately, I continue to be lead down the lane of confusion.  The information is overwhelming and leads to a very stresful feeling or a dull groan of a headache.  I can't really progress until I have a website....I thought learning all of this stuff would be a lot easier.  Ha!  Maybe one day it will make more sense, it will fall into place.  Until then, I sit in this muck of web design lingo while my brain oozes of goo from a feeling of hopelessness.
I wonder if what I am doing, will pay off?  Will there be that day when it works out, when I have phone calls from people pursueing me for my photography, to attend my workshops and to purchase my images?  Will there be that day in the future when my business brings in enough money where I can buy actual equipment, like a desk that isn't made up of cardboard boxes?  So, maybe I can sit without a dull ache in my shoulder from being cramped up against a wall while I work.  Will I have a studio?  An office?  Internet without having to drive and drive and hide in the back parking lots of hotels?
I guess that is what part of this journey/blog is about....finding my way...seeing if what I dream, can be acheived.
I have a book I am re-reading, a Six Week Start Up Plan.  I don't know who this woman is, or what amount of money she had available to her, but I think it is a little deceiving for the average person with an average income can accomplish a business in six weeks.  I don't think it is realistic.  That doesn't mean I'm not going to continue onward, it just won't happen in six weeks.

I finally heard from Holt, I haven't been very proactive at keeping in contact with him.  I think he thought I forgot about him.  I continue to plug away at finding someone or some company to support his amazing project.  I keep coming across various things in America which are Vanishing, and I sometimes ponder if maybe he'll continue his project beyond five years.  I can see his images in galleries and fancy art openings presenting his incredible work to art lover's everywhere.
Check out his site: http://www.vanishingamerica.net/
Well...time to plug away at the goal, just thought I would touch base on the "business" aspect of this project, and my life.